Will It Ever Get Better?
by LoveIsBrittana
Summary: Santana hides behind a fake mask of dirty looks, smiles, and insulting comments. Little did anyone know, it's all an act. A story about the dark side of a teenage life. Rated M for triggering material. AU Brittana.
1. Alone And Numb

**Hi guys! So this story is a story of basically me escaping reality. It's triggering, so don't read it if you will be affected in any way. I hope you enjoy and PLEASE review! Thank you.(:**

**A/N: I don't own Glee or any of its characters. (I wish I did though.)**

* * *

_"Do you know what I think you are?"_

My breath was hitched in my throat, unreleasing because I was breathless. What Finn was saying stopped the oxygen pumping through my blood and left it there, motionless. While, I, on the other hand, felt dead inside. I was so numb that nothing really mattered anymore.. Or so I thought.

_What does he know? His judgment is purely nothing to me,_ I tried to push the negativity out of my mind, and think of how he was just another dumb boy I slept with. Finn didn't understand anything about girls.

_"A coward."_

That was breaking point. _Coward_ stabbed me repeatedly, letting the blood sputter and slide down my back painfully. It left me empty and alone.

What hurt the most was how everyone's judgement and opinions _did_ matter to me. My reputation and self image were controlled by it. Those words of either negativity or positivity influenced the way I thought and those tiny voices inside of my head. The voices would echo and repeat the judgement, pushing to the point where I couldn't stand it anymore.

The only thing I knew was to keep my mask on; solemn and unaffected of what was just said while everyone else turned around and shifted their eyes to Finn and I, shocked that I wasn't beating him up or replying with a snarky comment of mine.

The last period bell bounced off the walls of the hallways and everyone flew off, muttering under their breaths about what had just happened.

I stood there, feet planted into the cold tiles of McKinley High and staring at the bland, white sneakers of my Cheerio uniform. My shaking hands grasped onto the backpack hanging off of me.

I couldn't go to last period Glee Club. It was the last thing I wanted to do now. Something better was in mind.

* * *

"Alright, this week's assignment is-" Mr. Schuester rushed into the room filled with the familiar maroon chairs filled with all familiar faces. He was too overwhelmed to see that one face was missing. He clapped his hands together, shifting his vest a little and moved to uncap a Expo marker to write on the board.

"Wait Mr. Schue, Santana is missing," Brittany cut in with concern in her face and in the blue of her eyes. She knew Santana was going through something, but she didn't push it because she just _knew_ she wasn't a feelings person. The brunette was definitely not someone to spill her problems and expose them to the world around her. Not even to Brittany.

Quinn also understood something was wrong. Afterall, they were all best friends; the Unholy Trinity. Both Quinn and Brittany knew it was weird of Santana to miss Glee Club because she once said, 'Glee Club is like an escape for me. I sing and wash all of my stress away.'

Mr. Schue looked confused. _Since when was Santana known to ditch Glee?_

"Quinn, Brittany, please go look for her. It's really odd for her to miss last period. I even saw her at lunch," He furrowed his brow and became a little worried of one of his strongest voices.

Brittany caught a little glimpse of Finn, shifting around in his seat even though his arm was around a distraught Rachel Berry. Something bad must've happened for Finn to look that guilty and Santana to miss her favorite activity.

* * *

I finally caught some energy and dragged my feet down the hallway. A pencil sharpener lie on the floor, calling my name. It was tempting, and soon enough I gave in.

Slowly, I bent down and picked it up numbly. Thoughts flowed through my head like a stream down a waterfall; fast and not stopping. My body didn't feel anything. Apparently, my senses weren't working correctly. My nose didn't release any living air. It didn't bring the carbon dioxide into my body, and didn't release the oxygen. My mouth was as dry as Egypt in the summer. No taste, no saliva, nothing. My ears were ringing with those voices in my working mind. Last, but not least, the only thing I could see was the blade of the sharpener waiting for me.

My hands were brought up above my head and released the plastic sharpener in a swift move, smashing it into pieces. The only thing left in one whole piece was the blade.

_Perrfect._ The voices purred and laughed at me, like I was the joke of the town.

My feet were picked up off of the tiles and I ran them to the bathroom. Opening the wooden door, a sly smile broke out on my face, slightly happy no one was there to catch me.

The smile was immediately erased as my dark, lustful eyes glared holes into the mirror. They broke out into emotionless tears, "What's happening to me?" I gasped out. My voice wasn't heard by anyone, I was alone. Always have been, always will be. Except Brittany..

The beautiful, blonde popped into my mind, stopping the gears turning in my head. Her sky blue eyes made my heart melt its icyness and showed a different side of me. The way she flipped her cute, little bangs made me weak in the knees. I imagined her, telling me to stay strong for her.

_I wish I could Brit, but something's are just impossible._

I knew I was wrong, but the voices took over. My eyes cried more silent tears and let them slide down my cheeks, smudging my mascara.

The real me reflected into the mirror. My mask was ripped off of my face, and I stood there exposed in the light.

_Your ugly, Santana. Nobody would want you looking like that. Get yourself together! You really think Brittany would want to touch that fat body of yours? What's wrong with you? Oh wait, a lot of things,_ the voices snickered and tore me down. I knew I shouldn't have listened to them, but what do I have to lose?

The blade felt hot in my hand, burning through my skin. It was screaming to be used. It was the only thing that gave me that little feeling of long lost happiness for a few minutes. It made me feel proud for once.

I finally picked it up out of my shaking hand and glared at it coldly. The numbness froze my body over and I felt absolutely nothing, but darkness.

I pushed my bracelets out of the way and slid it across my wrist multiple times, releasing the motionless blood and the emotions trapped inside. The voices finally stopped and let me have that powerful moment of silence that I longed for. The bubbles of the red fluid popped out of my skin and smiled at me. Finally, I felt satisfied. Satisfied that my body was eventually relieved.

My lips broke out into a curl and smiled back at the fluid pouring out of my pale, weak wrist. My relieved body slid down the bathroom's wall and my puffy eyes closed themselves.

* * *

"Quinn, I'm really worried about her. What happened before last period?" Brittany frantically searched every corner of every hallway.

"I don't know, Britt. I'm just as dumbfounded as you are, but I'm worried too. What if something bad happened to her?"

A frightened feeling took over the dancer's body and she couldn't help but release a little tear. She loved Santana and absolutely despised the idea of her being hurt in any way. Even if it was just a paper cut or a small scratch.

The two best friends roamed the halls in a panic, when suddenly they heard a voice cry out. Both Quinn and Brittany widened their eyes in fear, hoping it wasn't the brunette they knew and cared for.

"Oh no.." Quinn broke the silence and ran after Brittany to the McKinley High girl's bathroom.

"Santana?" Brittany gasped out, and Quinn knew it had to be bad.

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**So, did you like it? Give me an idea on how you want this story to take direction! I have a clear idea, but I love hearing from you! REVIEW and tell me what you thought. This story reflects a dark side, I guess. Not all things in life are fluffy and easy, right? So I wanted to cover most teenage issues in this generation and create a sad, but interesting story. I hope you enjoy and I hope you review so I find the motivation to continue it.**

**Thank you so much.**

**xoxo-Anna**


	2. For the Love Of A Daughter

**Hey guys.(: I got a pretty positive response to the last chapter and I really want to continue this story. My beta and I came to conclusion that this story is AU, so remember that. I really hope you enjoy this second chapter and review to keep my motivation going, so I can continue. **

**As always, TRIGGER WARNING. **

**Also, the inspiration to most of this chapter was "For the Love Of A Daughter," by Demi Lovato. Amazing song, check it out.**

**Enjoy!**

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"Santana?" a gasp broke into the dark silence of the bathroom. Suddenly, a silent cry swept into the air, causing a shiver to take over my empty body.

My eyes didn't want to open themselves, so I sat there waiting for what was coming next. A pair of knees fell down beside me, while the door was opened again. Another gasp, but not a cry. Quinn and Brittany.

Brittany was crying and grasping onto my wrist as if her tears would stop the bleeding and heal the deep wounds cut in my skin. Even though my eyes weren't opened, I knew Quinn was standing near the door, shocked at the sight her eyes were staring at.

"You.. can't.. tell anyone," my long, lost voice found itself and rasped out.

"Santana, this is serious, your mentally ill and need help," clearly Quinn was taken out of her daze.

"I said you can't tell anyone," I snapped back, relieved that my body was acting normally again. The mask was now fully back on my face and ready for what consequences I had to face.

My anger and fear died down when Brittany collapsed her head into the crook of my neck. Her crying turned into sobbing and it caused even greater pain to experience it. I wrapped my unaffected arm around her back and soothed her to quiet down.

Quinn took that moment to shut off her maternal tone and come to sit next to me. The voices took their cue.

_See Santana? Your causing pain to others now. _They snickered at me. Something in me was boiling, I couldn't take it. My stomach was churning at the sight of the only people I had left in my life, crying for me. They didn't need this. They didn't deserve it.

Even though I loved Brittany, I didn't want her to see the exposed part of me. I knew she loved me too and cared about me, but I didn't need that. My problems weren't supposed to be hers too.

Abruptly, I gently let go of her and jumped up, poised to run away. I gave Quinn a look that told her she better not tell anyone and ran off. The only thing I know how to do.

"Quinn-" Britt gasped through her sobs.

The shorter blonde wrapped her arms comfortingly around Brittany. She knew that nothing in the world could soothe the pain her heart was going through. All she could do was attempt to comfort her and let her know she wasn't going anywhere. Unlike Santana.

Although, Quinn knew Santana was also going through an unbearable pain. She saw it in her eyes and throughout that face of hers. The way she dragged her feet across the floor showed just how much she didn't want to be here. It was visible, but no one seemed to care.

Afterall, she was just the school slut right? Sluts are attention-seekers, says society. They put on a show for everyone, including boys at parties and everywhere else.

Little did anyone know, Santana _was_ gay. She was hiding scars and faking smiles because of that. She was ashamed of that because she was raised to not tolerate that way of living.

Ever since she figured it out, everything seemed to be her fault and she was never good enough. She felt as if everyone already knew and they stared at her because of it.

"We can't tell," the dancer blubbered. "It kills me that I've never noticed, but I love her to much to disobey her," she wiped her eyes and bit her tongue to resist another round of tears.

"Shh, honey I know," Quinn rubbed her hand soothing up and down the long, pale arm. It was hard to see her two best friends in such pain.

Of course, she longed to know why Santana was doing this. She wanted to comfort her just as equally. She cared for her, and had her back, but that look she gave her told her she wanted to be alone. Quinn just knew alone was too familiar for Santana.

_How it all began.._

Santana was eleven. It was the year she met Brittany, and everything was so happy. She loved to see the butterflies fly around her garden, and to feel the sun beat down on her olive skin. Her new blonde best friend was the best thing in the world in her eyes.

She didn't know it then, but it was love at first sight.

"Mama, can Brittany stay over for dinner?" the wrinkles around her mother's eyes crinkled because she was smiling proudly at the fact her daughter had made a new friend. Her maternal instincts told her this friend was a keeper.

"Of course, sweetheart. Papa's not home tonight," Santana knew her father was a bad man, but her mother never spoke aloud about it. Her mom didn't know the glimpses of bruises she caught, or of the sight she saw of gauzes wrapped around her torso.

Santana smiled widely back at her dear mother and skipped back outside to tell the blonde, innocent little girl waiting for her. She was drawing with chalk and when Santana caught up, her smile grew wider. Even though Brittany had just met her, she knew that smile was rarely seen.

They both looked at the masterpiece in the driveway. A big pink heart outlined two stick figures; one with blonde hair and the other was a brunette. Santana gazed at how the two figures were holding hands; with pinkies.

"Why are they holding pinkies? Shouldn't it be their whole hands?" Santana stared into those blue eyes she knew too well, too soon.

"My momma once told me that when two people hold pinkies, they're promising something," the tall, graceful blonde stood up and wiped her dusty hands on her overalls. "So, I'm promising you to be best friends forever."

She reached out her pinkie to link it with Santana's. The small Latina contemplated this for a moment and intertwined hers with the paler one being stuck out.

"You're really smart, ya know that?" Brittany giggled at this remark and started to skip back into the cozy, small home for dinner.

Dinner went by quickly with two servings of macaroni and cheese each. Soon enough, Brittany had to go home because it was a school night.

"I'll see you tomorrow in school San," Santana loved how the blonde said her name like that. She reached out and wrapped her arms around her best friend.

Brittany extended her arms and squeezed the little Latina with all the love she had in her big heart.

"Okay Britt, sweet dreams," Brittany smiled and walked over to her house which was next door. She stood on her maroon porch and gazed at Santana, who still hadn't gone in yet. The dancer blew her a kiss and giggled, opening the door to her family who were playing a board game.

Santana couldn't help but giggle and blush at the blown kiss. She went inside her own home and got ready for bed.

"You told her that way of living is okay didn't you? That it's tolerated in this family," Santana could hear her dad getting closer to her mom. "DIDN'T YOU?"

"Rick-" her mother's words were hanging in the air, quivering because they didn't mean anything to the conversation.

"TELL ME THE TRUTH," his voice boomed through the house, causing Santana to shudder in her bed. She knew this wasn't a normal fight they had. It was more intense than any other.

"They don't understand, Rick. They're just little girls-" a gasp of pain was let out of her mother. Santana silently cried, not knowing what to do. She was strong enough to stand up for her and her mother. And that's exactly what she did.

She crawled out of bed in determination to stop what was happening. Tip-toeing down the wooden, carpeted stairs, she saw it all. Her father was beyond drunk and wasted. She's seen him drunk so many times, but none like this.

In his big, muscular hand was a small knife, ready to stab anything in its way. Her mother was standing there, behind her guarding arms, praying for her dear life. It looked as if he was about to kill her with no emotion. Like he didn't care about her or his family.

"STOP PAPI! PLEASE STOP!" Santana ran down the last few steps and tried to save her mother. In all honestly, she didn't care as much about her father than her mom. Her mom was everything to her, her advice giver, the one who loved her no matter what, and the person to turn to for anything. She was the perfect mom to Santana and she wasn't going to let her dad take that away.

"You.." he whispered with such rage in his voice, creeping closer to his only daughter. The knife was pointed in her direction, mindlessly coming her way. Santana was ready. That was the day where she started to not care about anything that happened.

Just as he was about to kill his only daughter for her foolish actions, Maria jumped in front of the knife. She not only wanted the pain to end, but she loved her baby girl so much. When she gave birth, she _knew_ that if anyone ever came in her baby's way, she would save her. No matter what.

Santana's feelings for her mom bubbled up in her throat, causing her to burst into tears. Her body collapsed into the bloody puddle next to her mother. The pain in her chest swelled up and froze.

"Shit," Rick ran his blood infested hands through his grey hair. "That was supposed to be YOU," he pointed coldly to his young daughter, who was now trying to get the blood to stop running from her unconscious mother.

Santana looked up with a stinging pain in her heart. That was the day she first felt alone. Her mom was gone, her dad didn't want her, nobody was there anymore. Except for innocent Brittany.

She hoped to God Brittany could soothe this hurting pain. Even though she wasn't the one stabbed, she could feel a knife being dragged through her heart.

When her dad went to get towels to clean up, not even trying to help his wife or call an ambulance, Santana did though. She called 911 and cried to the operator, telling him her mom was probably dead by now and her dad stabbed her. Then, she ran off to the Pierce's, where she knew she was safe.

Her dad went to jail for four years after that, but bailed out because Santana didn't have anywhere to go except the Pierce's. She made a home there. Lisa and Rob accepted her and were just as goofy as Brittany.

In those four years, Santana and Brittany became even closer than before. On Santana's thirteenth birthday, Brittany kissed her happy birthday. That was when they both knew they were in love. The electricity said it all. Even though it was just a simple peck, fireworks bursted through both of their chests.

Ever since then, Brittany was always Santana's healer. She always made her feel better by not even doing anything but simply smiling that cheeky grin.

I ran as fast as my feet brought me, not caring about a damn thing in this world. All I knew was I needed to get out of there quickly. That pained look on Brittany's face was making me spiral out of control. I never meant for that. I never told her because I knew Brittany was to fragile to intrepret what's going on in my mind and what I'm doing to myself. She wouldn't understand, because she never actually found out what happened that night. She wouldn't know any better because I haven't come out yet, she knows I love her, but she said she wouldn't officially be my girlfriend until I come out. Although she is very supportive about it by giving me those sweet make out sessions at our sleepovers, and once in a while, passionate sex.

All I could think about was that look she gave me; shocked and scared, but still there for me, no matter what. Brittany taught me that I am loved after my dad and after my mom died.

"I love you, Santana Lopez. Your the strongest person I know," she would whisper into my ear before falling into a peaceful sleep behind me. Her lips always connected to a certain spot on my shoulder, and her arms wrapped around my small waist. Brittany made me feel at home just by being in her accepting arms.

I brought myself to a stop when I reached under the bleachers. I couldn't bring myself home until late because I had to wait until my dad was fully passed out.

He would drag himself home after a short day at the hospital and drink his sorrows away, but both me and my mom in heaven knew he didn't miss her. He would abuse her every night and one night, she even cracked her head on the bath tub after being pushed so hard.

He was a frightening man, even when I was as young as five. If I wasn't reading or studying, he'd attempt to whip me with a belt.

Ever since then, every time someone would try to come close to me, I'd shut them out because I was always scared of being loved and then being betrayed. Every time someone reaches out to touch me, I flinch. Just because of him.

My stomach was churning at all of these thoughts and memories. The thought that people know now, the fact that my life was so fucked up.

Luckily, I had a bag of chips and a soda in my backpack. My mouth chewed slowly, filling my stomach easily. I couldn't stop thinking about how that innocent face turned so.. weak, in just one sight of me. I felt so guilty for causing so much pain to the only person I loved.

The coke bottle brought its way up to my mouth, and I swallowed one gulp before sticking two fingers down my throat.

"Ladies! If you'd like to be on my squad, you have to be fit all year long. If you don't plan on it, stop wasting my time," Coach Sue's voice echoed in my head.

Living such a traumatic life, I couldn't help but bring that weight on my own shoulders. I felt like I was losing the weight for everyone on the Cheerio's. I was doing them a favor, right?

Soon enough, my stomach was overturned and I gagged everything out. The only thing I could do was wipe my mouth on the back of my hand, wipe my tear filled eyes, and smile at the feeling of losing weight.

_Good job, Santana. Your getting there, _the voices encouraged me to, so why not listen?

Nobody really noticed how weak I was getting or my scars on my wrists because I hid it really well. With just a little foundation and a fake smile, you'd be surprised.

"Santana, are you losing weight? You look really small and weak," Brittany pointed out one day. She read me like an open book, which was good sometimes.

"No, I'm just feeling under the weather today," I shook her comment off and plastered another smile on.

She just shrugged, but I knew I hadn't reassured her.

Taking another deep breath, I really wanted to go see Brittany again. I missed her a lot lately, and I needed to give her that little boost that I really was okay, and that there was no need to worry.

While running back through the red, black, and white doors of McKinley High, I covered the traces to the smell on my breath by throwing in a piece of gum.

Binging was something I had started before Coach's comment. It was something I was always insecure about. Growing up in a Puerto Rican family, there was _always _food around. It was just how we were. So when I was younger, I remember eating with no worry, but growing up, that worry started to grow on me. I felt fat by the age of nine. No one could persuade me I wasnt, not even my mom.

"Your perfect mija. Someone will come along and love you just the way you are," she would always tell me and by the age of eleven, I knew that someone was Brittany. I just didn't understand how she saw past the flaws of my body and every other thing I was self conscious about.

I ran back through the bathroom doors and caught sight of Quinn helping poor Britt clean up her smudged makeup and puffy eyes.

"Britt," I breathed out and the pang of guilt hit me in the gut.

_You did this to her Santana. She's a mess because of you._

She turned and looked at me, something in her face brightened a little bit. The darkness in my soul was uplifted a bit by her beauty. Again, she was my healer. My saver. The only reason I was alive.

"Oh San-" I embraced her into a tight hug. The scent of her perfume mixed with her strawberry shampoo and just Brittany was the sweetest smell. Every time I took a whiff of her aroma, I felt my heart beat speeden, like it was in a race.

Everything about Brittany, made my body feel so.. _in love._ My hands became so clammy, my knees became weak, my heart sped up then melted. Tingles engulfed my body in such a good feeling.

She made me feel myself again. Happy, sweet, careless Santana.

"Are you okay? Please tell me your okay, that's all I want to know," Brittany stared into my eyes with her blue orbs. There was always such sincerity in her voice when she talked to me. With everyone else, she talked with lightness. Sometimes, as light as a feather.

In that moment, I actually felt okay. Maybe, it was just because I was with the girl I've loved ever since that day in my driveway. Or maybe it was the fact that I didn't feel insecure around her. She looked past all of my flaws and made me feel loved. I honestly believe my mom sent her down to watch and love me.

"Yeah.. I'm okay Britt," I reassured her and gave her another squeeze, not wanting to let go. In her arms, I felt at ease. Like I could conquer everything just by her being at my side.

Quinn fakely coughed and we all laughed. It must be awkward to be in a friendship where two of the three are in love with each other.

"Get in here," Brittany opened our arms and surrounded Quinn with our love, too.

Later that day, I finally had to escape to my dad's house. He has this rule that I have to come home every night, or at least leave a message to know if I'm alive or not. Like he cares.

I usually stayed at the Pierce's house, but I couldn't that night. The questions. The crying. I couldn't. Knowing me, my mouth would force the truth to Brittany. Somehow, she has this hold on me, like I'm wrapped around her finger. Those eyes and the way she loved and cared about me, molded me into this person that only came out with her.

The white wooden door with the blurred out window was creaked open when I swerved into the driveway. That door had always haunted me. The memory of every night when my dad would burst in, wasted, stuck to my mind.

Opening the car door, the air smelt like alcohol. It burnt up through my nose and into my lungs. It was nauseating to think about how much my father drank per day. Every day, after working at the hospital, he somehow ended up home passed out on the kitchen floor. Being the daughter he never wanted, sometimes I would drag him onto the couch and sometimes, I would step over him. Just like he has so many times.

My father had a short temper and a huge urge to yell at anyone in his way. When I was younger, he would scream at me for all of my mistakes. Grade less than an A? "SANTANA LOPEZ!" Forgot a chore? "SANTANA!"

Sometimes, he would even hit me. That's how I had created such a strong barrier outside of my soul and heart. No one had been allowed to enter, before Brittany entered my life.

I finally grasped the strength to go through the door and of course, he was passed out on the floor. This time, I couldn't help but stare at him with the rage built inside of my body.


	3. The Voice Within

**Hi my wonderful readers. New update.(: I've been writing a lot for this particular story, so expect new updates in the next few days or so. I really want you to speak your mind, and tell me how you want to see this story, should it be happy? Should I continue with dealing with Santana's problems? It's your story, I just write it. So please, REVIEW!**

**As always, TRIGGER WARNING.**

**This chapter has a few Christina Aguilera songs in it, so check them out. Thanks to my Beta _calypsopotter18._**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

The next day in Glee club, Brittany sat close by to me, keeping an eye on my facial expressions. She tried reading me like a book, figuring out what was going on in the guarded heart and mind of mine. It was no use. It was either be straight up, or I didn't open up. Feelings just weren't my thing.

"This week, I want to focus on one of our most powerful feminine voices in history," Mr. Schue smiled, and began writing something on the small white board. The expo marker squeaked out the letters and read, "CHRISTINA AGUILERA."

Artie fist pumped and Rachel squealed, causing Finn to tear off of her. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a sly smile break Brittany's lips and her hand raised, catching Mr. Schue's attention.

"Yes Brittany?" He asked, a little confused. She was never the first one to raise her hand, she just stood by the back, dancing her way around.

"I have a song I'd like to start the week with," It was clear she was nervous with the spotlight on her, but she had something important to say. What other way is better than speaking through a song?

"Sure Brittany, come on up!"

Everyone sat there, patiently waiting for what had Brittany so intrigued to sing, including me.

That morning, I woke up to yet another empty house and no already made breakfast. Not that I was going to eat it anyway, but it would've been nice to see one sitting there for me, just like my mother had done.

I had to hide my puffy eyes from crying myself to sleep. Laying in my bed, I couldn't help but think why me? What had I done to receive such a fucked up life? Was I a mistake and now was I being punished? Was God just torturing me to see how strong I was? Was He waiting for me to give up?

I dragged myself out to school, because in honesty, I didn't want to see anyone anymore. Just Brittany. She was the only one keeping me strong. Without her, I'd be long gone.

Brittany got up, her heart pounding out of her chest. I couldn't help but stare at how her beauty reflected off of everything. She was the most gorgeous person. The way she walked up to the middle of the choir room. The way her feet gracefully hit the floor. Everything about her was flawless, and one day, I would call it all mine.

I was here for that reason. To see Brittany in a long, elegant white dress to say 'I do' to me. That's all I ever wanted. To grow together in an apartment somewhere in the city, and maybe kids along the way. She froze those demons inside of me and the day we get married, or just officially become a couple, will be the day they die. For now, I just couldn't come to terms to the fact that hey! I really am a lesbian.

A few piano notes rang in the air, waiting for the intro. Suddenly, the blonde who I loved so much started singing. The Voice Within.

Young girl, don't cry

I'll be right here when your world starts to fall

Ooh

Young girl, it's alright

Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly

Ooh

When you're safe inside your room, you tend to dream

Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems

No one ever wants or bothers to explain

Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

My breath caught in my throat, bubbling tears up. Even though Brittany's voice was beautifully hitting off the walls and into everyone's ears, I heard pain. She was hurting, but only I could see it. Once in a while, her eyes gazed towards me, asking me why I was feeling like this? Why wasn't I happy?

When there's no one else, look inside yourself

Like your oldest friend, just trust the voice within

Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way

You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within

Oh

Young girl, don't hide

You'll never change if you just run away

Ooh, woah yeah

Young girl, just hold tight

Soon you're gonna see your brighter day

A pang of guilt was rushing through my veins. I did this to her, I thought. No one was meant to find out about the things happening inside of my head, on my wrists, or my stomach. No one, including Brittany. She was a general, happy person and now I was ruining her.

I was tearing her down.

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed

It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid

No one reaches out a hand for you to hold

When you look outside, look inside to your soul

Why were these lyrics so true? Everyone was now looking at me, exposing me with just their eyes. I felt bare, and vulnerable. Trapped inside of this room, but also inside of my head.

As soon as Brittany finished the song off, she excused herself to the bathroom, clearly going there to cry. I got up and followed her, running to the door.

"Santana, where are you going?" Mr. Schue stopped me. Did he not see how she was staring at me most of the time?

"Look, we all know you were probably thinking of the solos Berry should perform this week to actually pay attention to what was happening. Britts needs me and I'm gonna comfort her. That's what I always do, macaroni hair, so please let me get back to that," I flew by him before he could reply to my comment. Which was a pretty good one in my opinion.

"Britt," I rushed into the bathroom to hear sobbing in the handicap stall. I kicked the door open to see a collapsed blonde on the floor, helpless. I knew all she wanted to do was help me, but no one really could. She already had done enough, keeping me on this earth, and she didn't even know it.

It was so much worse now that she knew. She acknowledged that every smile or laugh my mouth broke out into, was fake. She saw the way my body reacted to everything, she knew I didn't want to be here.

Her hopeless blue eyes stabbed me in the heart, creating fresh tears to swell up in my throat. I had to swallow it back to stay strong for her. She needed me.

Behind me, I shut the door and sat next to her, grabbing her pinky in mine. Brittany silenced after a few minutes and stared down at our hands.

"What is this?" she whispered. I pondered on this and tried to think of a satisfying answer.

I wanted to be with Britt so bad, but just the fact that I was a lesbian scared me to death. I just couldn't face such a fact about me, even though I knew it was true.

What would my dad say or do?

* * *

The day sophomore year started, he spoke to me in a harsh tone that would've cut anyone into pieces.

"I don't want any boy trouble this year Santana, focus on your education," he stared at me with those dark, cruel eyes of his.

"Okay papi, but there won't be. I'll be with Britt most of the year," his face turned into a rage.

We were just at the top of the stairs, I was waiting for him to stop talking so I could go to Brittany's house to get ready. We were going to do each other's hair since we weren't allowed to wear anything but our Cheerios uniforms.

"Is that so? With Brittany? Huh?" You could see the anger boiling through his body, waiting to explode.

I didn't know what to do. He was such a terrible man, anything could happen. I was about to burst out into tears, but I couldn't. Not in front of my father. The one who killed my poor mother.

Take me now, I thought. My life has no worth.

His jacked, tattooed arms shoved forward, causing me to stumble down the stairs, step by step. His face when he pushed me was filled with rage, and pure hatred. It was no secret he despised me or didn't want me around.

My body struck sharp pains everywhere. I was almost positive bruises had already appeared all over my body. My voice found itself and I cried out in horror and great pain, bursting into a sob.

"How could you?" I cried. "Why do you hate me?"

He walked over me, ready in his scrubs for work. His overly expensive shoes hitting the floor, creating a screeching sound in my head. I wish he would just leave.

"Goodbye sweetheart, have a good day at school," he smiled an evil smile and winked before leaving. Slamming the door behind him, I couldn't get up.

A few moments later, before I could even process another thought, Brittany skipped in.

"Hey- SAN! What happened?" She rushed over and picked me up, placing me on the couch in the living room. She couldn't know the truth, it would've been too overwhelming. Imagine the person you love the most with a face so horrified at the bruises your body had from your own father. From him pushing you down wooden stairs, steep enough to break something in your body. Luckily, my strong exterior didn't mesh with my inside, which was dead. I survived the fall and mostly stuck the landing. Just a few bruises.

"Oh nothing, I just tripped over the last two steps," I faked another smile and limped my way up while clueless Brittany watched me with the eye of a hawk.

"Britt, it'll be official one day, I promise," I reassured the puffy eyed, love of my life and leaned over to hug her.

"Everything will be alright, you know," I whispered quietly into her ear, nuzzling my nose into the crook of her neck. I wasn't the most comforting person someone would turn to, but I tried. Brittany meant so much to me and just her being close to me was enough to keep us both content.

Her lips pressed the top of my head with the touch of an angel; soft and delicate. Her arms wrapped around me, it was almost as if I really was in heaven. Brittany's eyes deceived me into anything she wanted and to say the least, maybe I was whipped.

Ha ha. Santana whipped? I thought.

But it was true. Anything was possible with Britt.

* * *

Pertaining to the long week of Berry's dreadful solos and everyone trying to relapse Christina Aguilera's songs, my turn was up. It took a while to actually decide the song to sing for Glee.

"Santana, sing Hurt, it's the best combination with your voice and the lyrics go with your situation," Brittany poked me in the side of my ribs. I giggled quietly while reading the lyrics. For the most part, she was right.

"But," I whined and crept closer to her. "I want to sing Bound To You, because it's how I feel with you," I kissed her neck and stilled my lips there, climbing over her lap and sitting on her. Brittany had her goofy smile on and stared me in the eyes.

"Whatever you say, San San, it's your choice," she topped me on my couch and looked down at me with her blue ocean waves of beauty. Sometimes, when I was on the bottom of her, I always wondered what I had done to deserve her. I didn't even believe I was good enough for someone so flawless and happy like Brittany. In my mind though, I tried to accept the fact that maybe she did love me like no one else, and one day, we'd officially be together.

"Bound to you, huh?" she purred in my ear. It was these moments, the ones where I felt like everything would be alright. Where Brittany reassured that to me and she killed the demons with just being her. Everything she did put me off, but in a good way. She always was so good to me, took care of me, and kept a close eye on me.

Have I ever told you I'm pretty sure my mom gave me Brittany in place of being her, but also to be someone who loved me until death? Well, that's Brittany. At the same time, I don't understand why my mom would want to put me through the pain of my father, and his selfish ways.

"Mmm," I hummed and traced her broad jaw line while my eyes followed my index finger. My thumb stroked her cheek softly, dancing its way in circles. A shudder ripped through Britt's body and she shivered at the touch. It was always so adorable at how I affected her in so many good (and bad) ways.

"Well, I believe we're bound for each other, too. We're soul mates Santana, nothing can change that," Brittany took my hand and pulled up the soft sleeve of my shirt. She kissed every scar and held me close, looking me in the eye. She was telling me she would heal me. Which, slowly, she was.

Brittany had the power to rule me over with her sweet words of reassurance, and gentle touches of encouragement.

My heart flopped around happily, knowing someone was here to help. My mind was cleared and I stared her right back in the eye, a connection forming. Her lips pressed gently against my wrist and honestly, it felt like the engraved scars were clearing up. Disappearing because of her love.

"I'm here for as long as forever is," she whispered, continuing to pepper kisses up and down my arm magically. Her mouth healing the pain and seizing all of my thoughts. The connection of love was being shared and we were stuck in the moment.

"You're going to get better Santana Lopez, and I'm here to help you through that, no matter what. I want you to know someone cares and loves you so much her heart might explode into so many pieces. Even then, those pieces will still love you. I'm not going anywhere, even if you want me to. I'm here to stay, and I am bound to heal you with everything I have. I love you so so so much, and I will remind you and show you every single day of our lives, okay?"

That was it. Brittany stole my heart officially and that was when, I knew I could tell her absolutely everything that was happening. I nodded, biting my tongue to stop tears that were surfacing, but even that didn't help me from breaking down. I sobbed quietly in Brittany's arms and she was right, she would always be there, no matter what.

* * *

I got up and dragged myself to the middle of the choir room, staring at each face sitting there. They all were terrified of me at some point in the McKinley halls, but now they knew something was boiling under my surface, but they knew better than to push it.

I knew I chose the perfect song to sing to Brittany, and tell her that she's the only one who's actually helping me at the moment and I appreciate it all. That I love her, and if she ever needed me to return the favor, I'd be there.

The first few keys to I Turn To You by Christina Aguilera started to play, going along with the theme of the week.

When I'm lost in the rain

In your eyes I know I'll find the light

To light my way, when I'm scare,d losing ground

When my world is going crazy, you can turn it all around

And when I'm down, you're there pushing me to the top

You're always there giving me all you've got

The lyrics told a story. A story of what Brittany was doing to me, without her knowing. She was my one and only strength and motivation to stay strong so I chose that particular song to acknowledge her.

I looked over to see the beautiful blonde, emotionally shifting in her chair already. She had the softest face, looking like tears were about to erupt. At the same time, she kept that beautiful, loving look, telling me anything I needed, she was there in a heartbeat.

For a shield, from the storm for a friend, for a love

To keep me safe and warm, I turn to you

For the strength to be strong, for the will to carry on

For everything you do, for everything that's true, I turn to you

Which was so true. Anything that was on my mind, anything stupid that happened, anything I had to say, I turned to Brittany.

Eventually, the blue-eyed beauty broke down into tears, but no one really noticed because they were staring at me singing and because it was silent. Everything Brittany did at that time was silent. Hurting on the inside. Crying herself to sleep. Barely eating because she was deep in thought. All because of me, though. Again, I was changing her into a wreck. She was ruining herself by worrying about me.

I stopped singing there and just quietly went back to my seat, next to Brittany. Moving my chair closer to her, I soothed her by rubbing my hand up and down her back softly.

"Shh Britt Britt, everything's alright, I promise," I whispered, desperately wanting to lean over and hug her tightly, to relieve her pain.

"Thank you Santana for that amazing cover of I Turn To You!" Mr. Schue clapped his hands together and walked to the middle of room. Everyone else joined into a sync of applause, but I didn't care. All I cared about was making Britt feel better. That's all that mattered.

Rachel strided into the middle, as Mr. Schuester sat down in a stool.

"Santana, Brittany, it has come to all of our attention that something is going on between you two. Not only romantically, but emotionally also. We understand if you wouldn't like to share, but it would be highly appreciated if you do. We're here to help as a family, and on the love part, we all would like to tell you we support you two, no matter what," the members of our Glee club turns toward Britt and I, burning their eyes through our interaction of me rubbing her back.

Britt looked over at me, wondering what our answer would be. Maybe it was time to come out.. With Britt and I, but also my "problems."


	4. Read All About It

**Hi guys.(: Sorry for the late update, school has kicked off and teachers are hitting us hard with homework, but I finally finished this one off.**

**Thank you to my beta.**

**Inspiration for this chapter is "Read All About It" by Emeli Sande, so check it out.**

**Thanks so much for reading!**

* * *

The silence of the room echoed off of the walls, creating a loud ringing sound in my ears. My head was buzzing with different lies, but the only one burning on my tongue, was the truth. I could've told them about Britt and I, and leave out what was going on in my head, or the other way around.

I honestly didn't know what to do. All eyes were on me, some of them already guessing something was wrong.

"Do you want the good news first or the bad?" I croaked out, like an actual coward. Why was I so scared of the truth? Why was it so much easier to lie?

What would they say? Would they accept Brittany and I? Would they understand that I'm mentally fighting myself? Would they keep it in the room?

"Santana, we are not forcing this out of you. If necessary, please begin with the good news, then you may continue with the bad," Rachel still stood in the middle of the room, staring at me just like the others.

My only choice was to get up, and face them. Face the fact that I was a lesbian. Face the fact that I was _not _fine. Face the cruel society we lived in.

"I never planned on doing this on such short notice, but someone has been relying on me. Never asking for much, always being by my side. I bet you guys all guessed Brittany, which is correct," Looking down at my shoes, I couldn't believe I was doing this.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brittany smiling proudly, just like the day I won her a stuffed duck at the Lima Fair.

_"Yay San! You won!" Her hands clapped as she jumped up and down adorably. In her blue skinny jeans, and white flowy shirt, she ran over and jumped into my arms. I never wanted to let go when she did that._

_Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, her soft lips pressed the side of my cheek and in that moment, the blood rose up, creating a small blush. _

_"It was nothing, Britt. I could win as many stuffed ducks as you please," I shook the blush off and smiled confidently into the happiest blue eyes I have ever seen. It was so easy to make her smile, laugh, and just to make her happy. Her smile was contagious too, so when she was happy, everyone else got that positive energy she carried._

_It was the last day at the fair, so not many people showed up. Young children were scattered everywhere, but no high school losers we knew. A few parents, annoyed at how empty their wallets felt, stood by the smoking booth._

_Without paying attention, Brittany took my hand, and not just pinky linked, but intertwined our fingers as we walked through the fair. I looked around first, scared at people looking, then looked over at how proud and loving my dancer looked, and all of my worries were lost. _

_That was the first time Brittany and I actually went out with our "relationship" at the time. Before everything started worsening, it was the best fair experience we shared together. The happiest we've ever been._

* * *

"I've been mad at the world. Mad at who I've become and at who I am, but Brittany has taught me to accept it, and today, I officially can say, Britts and I are soul mates. No one can fuck with us, we've been inseperable," I closed off, and looked up at everyone going up into applause.

"It's about time you two have confessed your love. You two are definitely not subtle," Kurt chimed in and fits of laughter were shared. Mercedes got up and hugged me tightly, supporting me no matter what.

"Congrats girl," her bright white teeth shined at me, as Quinn was the next to envelop me into a hug.

"Santana Lopez! I knew it all along!" She laughed along with everyone else. Happiness was passed along through everyone, lighting their souls up because of the bad vibe in the air.

You see, Quinn was my home girl. No matter how many immature, pointless fights we shared, she's always actually had my back. She was that bitch who gave you that extra push when you needed it.

Overwhelmed by everyone's support and joy, I searched for my new girlfriend in the crowd of acceptance. It was amazing at how cruel the outside world was, but in this little classroom everyone was so.. understanding. They made it seem as if, there actually were no malicious people out there, but accepting. They were always so passionate in trying to make people feel fit in, it was truly amazing.

I found the bubble of blonde hair and ocean blue eyes, and fought to get to her. Her mouth screaming for me, her arms extended to reach me. I paced up the levels of the performing area and reached her.

Finally, our lips crashed, creating a wave of relief and love wash through me. Nobody could understand how much I've daydreamed of that one moment, us coming out and kissing proudly at the fact of us being a couple.

Brittany's strong arms wrapped me into the indescribable hug she's always known to give me, still holding onto our kiss. My hands found their way up and tangled their fingers into her soft, Brittany smelling hair. Slowly, the kiss was broken, but our connection wasn't.

Our foreheads pressed together, unaffected at the "aww's" behind us. Brittany's lips mouthed "I love you so much," and I couldn't help but cry happy tears at her gesture.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," I sobbed into the crook of her neck, clutching onto her. "I love you Brittany!"

Nothing could describe the feeling that was running through my veins. It was like, I had just won the lottery. Like, the winter breeze met the humid air of summer and mixed together, leaving a feeling in my chest that I've never felt before. Who knew it felt so good to come out?

I have never needed anything so much in my life. The fact that Brittany was always the one to hold me to sleep, to reassure me in my doubt, be my best friend, love me as who I was, accept everything about me, help me through good times and bad, be there no matter what, was absolutely incredible to me. To finally call the person who has been there since day one, mine, was the best feeling in the world.

Wiping my joyous tears away, and falling back down to reality, I knew the bad news was upcoming. Why did I have to be so fucked up and messed? Why?

If it weren't for me, we could've left that room on a good note. Loving one another, and being happy, but no. I had to come along and shine my fake smile, and ruin everyone else's days.

I looked back, poised to finally speak out. I was doing it for my girlfriend. The love of my life. My Brittany, in return to everything she had done for me.

Rachel was crying at how "cute" we were, as everyone else settled down. They sat in their usual seats, not anywhere ready to hear what was coming. I couldn't even think or imagine the faces I would get in return for my "news."

"Thank you for all the support, we appreciate it," I couldn't help, but crack a smile at how adorable Brittany was. She sat there, her cheeks glistening in the light due to her happy tears. Almost anyone could tell (even a blind person) that she was on cloud nine, and extremely happy I did that for us.

"But there is something you don't know about," Back to staring at my feet, I tried to think of how I was going to put this. What was I supposed to say? I'm fine and all, but-. No, I had to ease into it, or wing it. Either way, I was already in for a wild ride. I already had to tell them because I told them I had bad news. I could've lied and just said someone in my family died or something, but lying wasn't the road I wanted to take.

"I'm sorry for being ruthless to most of you, but it was for a reason. I was hiding. Hiding behind a fake mask of smiles, when in reality, it was all insecurities. I stand here, telling you all, I do things to myself, that shouldn't be done to a body which is now, so weak. I'm a self harmer,"

I looked up at the confused, sad faces, blankly looking at me. I couldn't lie and say that's all, once the truth is out, things follow. My heart was starting to pound rapidly, and the feeling of wanting to throw up erupted into my stomach.

"Also, I binge and then purge everything I eat. I have an eating disorder, also known as bulimia. I am deeply depressed at many things. My mother's passing, my dad.. in general, the way I feel, look, and act, the flaws I have, it's all wrong. I hate myself. I honestly believe I shouldn't be here," Fresh, not so happy tears subsided and I couldn't help, but cover my face. I didn't need everyone telling me any different. I never meant to start crying, but I was so sick and tired of the strong Santana on display. I wanted to reveal the actual me, the not so strong, frail, depressed one, who no one knew.

I couldn't see it, but Mr. Schue summoned Brittany to come take me out to comfort me. Her arms wrapped around me, and she whispered so soothingly, "Shh, San. Things will be okay." I felt her try to escort me out of the room.

My eyes opened themselves, trying to figure out what everyone's faces were saying. Some were actually crying, but silently. Just like Brittany when her heart was hurting. I could tell that the ones crying, were pained to see me like this. Others, were just plain shocked to hear me say that. Who was actually anticipating me to say something like that? No one.

"Please, you can't tell," I gasped as Britt pushed me out of the door. "Please!" I cried hopelessly, longing for someone to agree not to say anything. I didn't need anyone else into my pool of problems, especially my dad. He was the last one I wanted to know.

"Santana," Brittany took me in her arms. I felt her heart beat against my ear, as I heard it roar wildly. She wanted to cry, to break down, to not see me like this. But some things in life are there for a reason. She always got a feeling things were wrong with me, but never actually said anything.

_"San? Are you alright?" I had just come back from throwing up the last of the Friday Chinese food Britt and I always shared before a movie._

_Concern flashed through her eyes, but now was not the time. Or ever._

_I had the minty scent on my breath because I had to brush my teeth after hanging my head over the toilet bowl. Nothing was a better than the emptiness in the pit of your stomach and the slippery feeling in your throat._

_I nodded my head, unusually lightheaded after my bathroom visit. I knew I must've looked a little pale, but I never got dizzy. Looking down, my body seemed unstable from starving for many days. It was probably mad at me._

_I had just tempted it with a full stomach, nourishing my bones, but I was like the Grinch. I stole everything away from it._

_"I'm fine Britt Britt," my voice cracked as I collapsed onto the couch next to her, cudling into her side._

_Her hand automatically brushed through my long, raven locks and tried to figure out what was wrong._

_"Okay.." She replied, turning back to the starting chick flick. She was already lost in it before I could reassure her some more._

_I wish I could've told her, asked for her help, but I couldn't. I couldn't tear her down and pull her into my dark soul. I didn't want her to see the scars on my wrists or the ribs sticking out of my stomach. She was too innocent to see._

_I felt my eyes droop closed, safe in Brittany's arms for a good night's sleep._

* * *

I needed her. I knew this was a selfish action, but she was my only hope. My only escape.

Brittany pulled me into the girl's locker room, brewing things to say to me. I knew she was trying to make me feel better, to make me feel alright, but nothing was actually okay. I got that a lot you know, _it'll be okay_, but it really wasn't. Nobody understood that.

"Take off your sweatshirt, San," Brittay whispered. Her voice was so tiny, I barely managed to hear it. Do you know what it feels like to see the person you love the most, crumble right in front of you?

I didn't question it, I obeyed her. Brittany had this way inside of my mind, travelling to my brain and making it listen to her without my opinion. I had no say in whatever Brittany wanted because I automatically listened.

My Cheerios sweatshirt fell to the floor, and her warm hands maneuvered my body towards the mirror. I closed my eyes. I absolutely hated seeing my body and scars. I couldn't stand staring at it, because I didn't regret doing it to myself. What I did, was for a reason. My thinking was something that I knew was happening. I knew what I was doing, and I didn't think I took it to far.

"Open your eyes. What exactly do you see?" She whispered again. So tiny.

Opening my eyes, I tried to see what other people thought of me. The sick, too thin girl, who had deep scars up and down the insides of her arms, but no. Do you know what I saw?

I didn't see my hip bones sticking out at me, I saw fat oozing out. I didn't see my ribs poking out of my stomach, I saw fat. Fat. Fat. Fat. That's what I saw on every inch of my body. Oh and my scars? They made me feel.. alive. Everytime I cut, I felt some sort of aliveness shoot through my body, like a bright light through a dark tunnel. I felt this satisfaction, that nothing else could give me.

But I didn't care. I cared about everything else in the world,_ except_ myself. Nothing could persuade me or intrigue me into caring, or even loving myself. _Nothing._

I couldn't lie to Brittany who was standing there, strong. So strong to not even shed a tear at the sight of my pale body. I didn't expect her to though, I didn't expect anyone to. I didn't want sympathy, I didn't want anything, except to die. To leave the darkness and enter light for once in my life.

"Fat," I shot her a look through the mirror. Why were we doing this?

"Santana," she whispered weakly, trying to get me to understand that I really was frail. But I didn't believe her, nor anyone.

"No Brittany, don't," I snapped. I've been through the whole lecture of being beautiful, and that I was worth something so many times, I couldn't stand it. It boiled my blood, I hated it. _Oh Santana, your worth everything in the world. Your not fat, you never were. Why can't you see that? _No. Just no.

"NO! You listen to me," she snapped, even shocking herself at how she was yelling. Brittany was taken aback at the tone and sharpness in her voice, even though it was for the best, I felt a rush of anger boiling through my body.

I _never_ got mad at Britt. Ever. Why did I always get so defensive and touchy on this particular subject? I wasn't doing anything wrong! I was doing myself good, I was fixing myself, not destroying.

I grabbed my sweatshirt off the floor and slipped it back on, my hands shaking at the movement. I was really tired, maybe even exhausted at how many times I threw up that week. Everytime I ate(even if I did eat) my gag reflex would automatically throw everything up, leaving me with that amazing feeling of being empty.

Being empty made me feel so good. Like I was winning, and beating those voices inside of me. I was out to prove them wrong. That I could be as thin as possible, and have so many scars, I couldn't wear short sleeve shirts anymore. And to me, that feeling was absolutely indescribable.

"Your killing yourself, what don't you understand? Your _sick,_" A pain in my gut shot at me, making me shudder at the word. _Sick. _I wasn't sick, was I?

"Santana," her voice was back to being so tiny and weak. "I can't be your girlfriend if you can't even love yourself, the way that I do," she was in tears now. Those baby blue eyes looked so pained with tears pooling out of them.

The anger evaporated and I was left with a choice now. A robotic voice trembled out of me, "I can't- I can't change."

She nodded, taking a step back. You could tell she didn't see that coming. Everthing about her screamed that it wanted me to get better. That was something I didn't want though.. I didn't want to.

Back in the choir room, everyone was stirring. The whole group was astonished that they never noticed anything going on with Santana until now.

"Guys, we really can't tell," Quinn stood up, defending one of her best friends. "She made that clear."

"Quinn," Mr. Schue cut into the conversation, shocked as well. Even though he was the teacher, he couldn't even believe one of his best students, his strongest one was going through this alone. He didn't even understand why she never spoke up about it.

"I know you care about Santana, we all do, but would you rather see her get worse or gradually get better?" He insisted, trying to reel in the students into getting San help, something she truly needed.

She sat back down, flattening her Cheerios skirt with both her hands. She warmed her palms against the thick material and nodded, understanding where her favorite teacher was coming from.

"Mr. Schue's right guys," Artie rolled to the middle of the room, a little tear threatening to spill out of the corner of his eye. Even though Santana stole Brittany from him, he still cared for her with all of his heart. For both of them, and to see them both hurt, pained him. He wanted to fix it.

"We need to get her help.. before- before it's too late," everyone agreed, leaving Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury to the task.

* * *

**What do you think should happen? REVIEW!**


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